Before I get into all of the wonderful things I learned today, I am going to explain to you why yesterday was probably the worst day I have ever spent at Tucanos. I opened, so I had to be there at 10:30. I didn't get a chance to take a break and sit down for more than two minutes. I barely got to eat, only having some pasta and mashed potatoes. The only good thing about yesterday was that I got to be in left tower, arguably the best section in the entire restaurant, for the entire day. But besides that, everything sucked. Nobody was restocking so there were never any glasses or carafes. We ran out of ice several times. The new manager (who is a great guy) was training in the bar so everything took about three times longer than it should have. The stupid server station is so incredibly small, and when there are fourteen servers on, it does not work very well. People would not get out of the way, things were spilling, everything was a mess. It was hands down the most frustrating twelve hours I have ever endured. It was awful. And of course all of the managers were there, but they barely did anything. Stupid Damon would just stand there while I was clearly needing help. He just stood there watching me! It was so annoying, and I finally went up to him and was like "please help me pre-buss." It was ridiculous how much I hated yesterday. To be completely honest, the only thing that kept me from walking out and leaving Tucanos forever was the thought of my sweet husband. He works so hard at school and spends all of his time studying, and I need to make the money for us while I can. There was a time when I walked outside to put a bag of trash in the dumpster and it was so peaceful outside, even standing by the smelly dumpster. Everything was so calm and beautiful out. It was sunny and clear, and I just wanted to walk away and leave that stupid place. But of course, I need to make money for our family because my husband cannot right now. I love him too much to quit. I can't do that to him.
When I came home last night, I vented to him because I just had to tell someone how stressed and frustrated and annoyed I was. He told me that if I really hate it that much, that I could get a job on campus and quit. And that filled me with such hope! I have a chance to have a job that I don't hate going to. Honestly, I hate everything about Tucanos. I hate the layout, I hate the managers (mostly), I hate the food, I hate the work, I hate the customers, I even started to hate every person I work with. Of course most of the people I work with are awesome and I love them, but some of them really got on my nerves last night. I'm pretty sure I yelled at a few people yesterday. They weren't getting out of my way so I just raised my voice and told them to move. They wouldn't have even thought of moving if I hadn't. Gah I hate that place. Anyway, tomorrow morning I am going to go study for my test in the library for a while, take my test, and look for a campus job on the job board and see what I can find. I don't even care what I will be doing. I just have to get away from Tucanos. I can't do it anymore. It is not worth it AT ALL.
Well, not that I feel better about what happened, I can talk about much happier things and why this post is about gratitude. Dang and I are so blessed in our little life. Things may seem difficult, but other people have insanely more difficult trials and circumstances. We have a bed. We have blankets. We have clothes. We have running water and electricity. We have a car. We have each other. And to top it all off, we know the truth and we are members of the true church of Jesus Christ. We have the fullness of the gospel, and more than 95% of the world doesn't. That is really all we need. Life is amazing.
In church today several people spoke about prayer and having faith that everything would work out. I realized I shouldn't be praying to find a job, I need to be praying using the phrase "if it be Thy will." I need to be humble and have patience. If I just have faith in the Lord and know that things will work according to His will, I will be comforted and find peace. I need to put the Lord first in everything. I need to be studying my scriptures every day, not just when I think about it and it's convenient. It is the most important thing in life. If we really make an effort and do all that we can, then we will find happiness and joy. I don't know if I'm getting that across quite the way I wanted to, but I feel happy and peaceful and I know that everything will be great for Dan and I. Even if right now we are struggling for money, we need to just have faith that the Lord will provide for us. And I know He will.
Today is a beautiful day.
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