happy halloween!

Dan and I had a very good weekend. On Thursday night, we got to go up to Salt Lake for the first Jazz home game of the season. It was so much fun. Not only did we get to go to the pre-game dinner, which was delicious, we also got to sit in the third row (not row three, third row) for the second half of the game. We were so close to the players. It doesn't even matter how well we're doing when you sit that close. All that matters is that you are so crazy close to the players you can read the numbers on the backs of their shoes and see the sweat drip off of their faces. Bottom line, it was ballin'.

 

Unfortunately, we did end up losing by quite a bit to Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns, but I had a great time nonetheless.

Friday night we got all dressed up in our costumes and went to our ward Halloween party. It was at a cabin in Sundance. Apparently it is owned by one of our bishop's clients and he lent it to our ward for a night. It was a giant cabin, had amazing decor and interior, and was full of super nice and comfy furniture. We were some of the first to arrive so we got to make a caramel apple and enjoy some of the fresh desserts and candy. Once people started arriving, we went down to the basement and Dan taught me how to play pool. I have never played pool, but I have watched people play. Dan taught me how to play, and it paid off because I beat him twice. He then gave up and went to go shoot basketball on the mini hoop game, which he beat at and regained his confidence. Anyway, it was amazing and beautiful up there and I had a lot of fun seeing other couples' costumes and getting to know a few families better. It was way fun. And my costume got a few compliments, which made me night because I spent a while making it and hoped it looked legit. I was an indian and Dan was a cowboy. We were super cute together. I only got one picture sadly, but here it is:

Aren't we adorable? Anyway, I had to work a double on Saturday, and I actually for the most part enjoyed myself. Almost everyone wore their costumes and people I like worked with me so it was really fun. It was frustrating because I only made $119 the entire day, but I did train the entire day too, so I made a little bit more than normal for that.

Then today we woke up and went to church. It was very nice, and in third hour we had a special combined Priesthood/Relief Society meeting that the Bishop taught. He focused on how we are at war with the adversary and we need to do everything we can to strengthen and fortify our homes and families while we are young so that when we have children, they will have a solid foundation and be able to feel peace when they come home. It was very nice and I thought it was very well-done. The speakers in sacrament meeting also spoke on this topic, and it was a really spiritual three hours. It got me thinking how we really do need to be careful when there is so much out there that can harm our family. Even channel surfing at night can be dangerous when you are alone. I don't want our children to have any reason to doubt the truthfulness of the Gospel, and we can start not to make sure they won't.

I'm still working on being a better wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I think my attitude is helping me stay positive at work because I don't get as frustrated at our stupid managers as much. Except for when they are douches to my cute little sister. Some people just don't know how to be nice and respect their employees. Anyway, I'm trying to be nicer and more sisterly to Becca. My mom called today and said Becca told her how helpful and supportive I was yesterday when she was having a hard time at work. It made me feel good because I am already starting to see results of being nicer. And at work, the kid I was training wasn't super good, and one of the other trainers told me that I was probably the best person to train him because I didn't get so frustrated and I was able to stay calm while working with him. That made me feel good too because I guess people notice that I'm a hard-worker and will try to help people out when they are struggling. I don't know if that's necessarily what she was implying, but that's how I felt. I'm going to keep on working on this and see where else it takes me :)

Happy Halloween!

parents, penguins, and pumpkins.

This past weekend my parents came to town and Becca and I both got Friday and Saturday off of work. It was very nice, and I very much enjoyed them coming to spend time with us. First of all, they took us to dinner and breakfast and lunch. It was so good and it was very nice to be able to catch up and have fun with them. Second, they bought us groceries. It was amazing. I am so grateful that they were able to spend money to buy us groceries because this month I haven't worked nearly as much as I have needed to, so to have our cupboards and refrigerator filled up was such a blessing. I've never seen them so full of delicious food.

 

 We also watched March of the Penguins while they were here. It was so sad to see so many dead baby penguins and how upset and sad the parents were when they found their frozen chicks. But that's not what I want to talk about. We got to finally carve pumpkins! I was super excited and I enjoyed it a lot. I picked two pumpkins out special for Dan and I and they turned out very cute when we were done.

It was a great weekend, and I was very happy as I fell asleep Sunday night...

Alas, I had to wake up Monday morning and go to work. All day. Just to reiterate, I hate my job. I did NOT make enough money for being there almost eleven hours. Ridiculous. I am going to talk to the managers tomorrow when I go in. No backing down. I want better sections with more tables and I want to work more. I was scheduled five shifts this week. Most people had seven-ten shifts. I'm not really sure what they're doing, but it is not going to be good for them when all of their trainers quit and they have nobody to train the stupid new trainees. 

Anyway, Dan and I talked about it and I have to stay there at least up until Christmas. Winter semester I will be taking a full schedule (which I am super excited about), and I will probably only work one or two nights a week. Probably Friday and Saturday night, to earn the most money possible. I can't wait until next semester. I'm excited to not have to deal with Tucanos and I am most excited to start taking classes for my major. It's going to be fantastic.

This did not turn out to be the groundbreaking post I intended it to be. Fail. At least I was able to vent my feelings :)

blah blah blah.

It's crazy how someone you are sure you despise becomes your friend when you bond over a Brownie Rockslide. The girl that I couldn't stand at work suddenly was pretty cool yesterday. Someone ordered a brownie and didn't want it, so we got to eat it. It was delicious. And then the rest of the night she didn't bug me. I don't know if she's just mellowed down after working there for a while, or if I just suddenly changed. But it was pretty cool. I actually enjoyed her being there and I don't dread working with her again tonight. Pretty sweet. I want to be nicer to her.

I need to rant a little. I know how much I say this, but I really do not like work. I'm not making enough money to live on for our little family. I'm sick of getting crappy sections. I was a double yesterday and they tried to make me lead for both shifts. No way. Then I had a four-table section, while everyone else had at least five tables. I'm going to talk to a manager tonight and tell them I'm probably going to quit after the holidays. I'm going to be taking six classes and I could easily find a job where I don't get as stressed and I don't have to work as hard, for the same amount of money. I don't like waiting tables. I don't like stupid incompetent people. I don't like having to go to a place where you are underpaid and management takes advantage of you. I don't like sharing tips. I think it's stupid. I was so ready to quit last night. But I can't because we need to have some income. As much as I enjoyed spending every night home with Dan last week, we still need money. It just sucks. But I need to make the best of it. I don't have any other option, really. Oh well. I have a good life.

Also, I have been saying ouch every time I run into something. Even when I just step on a blanket or something lame like that. I just keep saying ouch. It's dumb because most of the time it doesn't hurt. But every time I run into something it just comes out. It's weird.

Well, I finished both seasons of The Office that we have. So now I am on to season one of Home Improvement. I loved this show. It's so good. Anyway, today has been spent developing my recipe for s'mores brownies. I'm going to have some people test the two types and then vote. One type has graham crackers in the mix, and the other has crumbles of graham cracker on top. I'm very excited :)

it's been a thriller of a day.

For far, it's been another productive day here in the apartment. After waking up early to get the laundry and make Dan a sandwich for lunch, I went to class. Upon return, I did 28 minutes on the elliptical, burned 200 calories, and "ellipted" four miles. It was lovely. After showering, I did the rest of my homework. I had a delicious bowl of spinach with a dash of ranch dressing. For who many knows how many hours I watched season three of The Office. It has been fantastic. I also went to my second class and then Dan and I had a delicious dinner. And now I am back to watching The Office. Thrilling.

When I was working out, I resolved to try harder to be my best for Dan. I am going to start slow, working out a few times every week. Then I need to work on my diet, eating better and working on my nutrition. But I don't want to do it all at once because I don't want to mess up and then give up. Anyway, he deserves the best, and I am not always the best I can be. So I am going to work on it.

I don't know how to inspire Dan. I have so much confidence in him and I know he's going to get into med school, but he keeps saying how he's going to have to go to PA school or nursing school. Which he definitely is not going to have to do. I just wish he could have as much confidence in himself as I do. He's incredible. But every time I tell him that he's going to do great in school and he shouldn't worry he always tells me that I don't know that and that it's not helping. Well, I'm not going to say "yeah, you should just be negative and dwell on the fact that class is getting hard." I just have to keep being positive and trying to boost his confidence. I just wish there was more I could do. Some way to show him how perfect he is. Show him how I see him. But I don't know what to do. So I'll just continue to give him little boosts whenever I can.

cookies, a rainbow, and plans.

So far, I have spent today at church and looking at recipes for my future cookie business. I decided that since it isn't going to be for a while, I might as well get started perfecting recipes and everything. So I made a binder with all the cookie information in it, as well as two types of brownies. They are the best brownies, so I thought I would throw them in there. Who knows, maybe this will turn into a bakery. Anyway, I feel productive and satisfied in that area.

Last night Dan and I went to Woodland again. And he caught another fish. It was giant! Another beautiful rainbow.




I am a proud wife :)

Work starts up again next week. We really need the money, so I'm glad I'm going to be working again, but on the other hand it has been nice to be home and see Dan and make him meals this past week. It's nice not just seeing my husband when I come home and crawl in bed. But we don't have much of a choice. Plus, my parents are coming in this weekend and I got work off Friday and Saturday, so that's nice.

We talked about my little plan for school and decided it probably wouldn't work. Too much money to take online classes. But it wasn't a waste, because I did plan out what classes I have to take before others, so it's easier for me to plan my schedule. I know what classes I am going to take and I will be going full time, so we will get the full amount of financial aid. Also, I will graduate by April 2012 with Dan. And with the classes and schedule I have laid out right now, I'll be able to work all of Monday, close Wednesday, Thursday nights, and all of Friday and Saturday. So there's potential there to make us enough money to live on. We still need to be more thrifty and not go out so much. Dang our inability to eat ramen and sandwiches for every meal.

Oh, and I have a festive new background! Yay!

failure and triumph.

So this week I have not accomplished very much. I tried to start my cookie business on Wednesday, but Thursday I ended it. Today, I tried to switch my major to general studies with an emphasis in family life, but it turns out that you cannot do that unless you have been away from BYU for two years. So in other words, it's only for returned missionaries, which in my opinion is dumb and biased. But then I took a second look at my schedule for next semester and I realized that about half of the classes I need can be taken online. So it turns out, I can do four classes this winter and next fall, and then two classes and my internship winter 2012. Then, I can still work and we can afford school and we don't have to worry about dipping into our savings and using that money. I figured it all out! I am so proud of myself. So even though I had some little set-backs this week, I feel at peace now and I know everything will work out. I'm so excited to tell Dan when he gets home. He's going to be proud of me too.

 The past two days, I have watched almost the entire fifth season of The Office. I have also become a professional Poppit! player. Love this week off.

baking love.

I love to bake. More specifically, I love to bake cookies. I had some extra time today so I went to the bookstore and sat in the cookbook section looking through these two books for almost an hour. And you know what I decided? I want to have a cookie business. Because as much as I love baking cookies, Dan will not eat all of them I could bake. I could have a cute little home-run shop and sell different fancy cookies and traditional cookies and classic cookies and unique cookies. I would be so creative and have so much fun. I would start small of course and slowly expand. I even know what I would call it. "El Dorado Cookies." I came up with this name years ago. Our main cookie will be "El Dorado" and it will be shaped sort of like a sun and will be a lemon cookie. I still have to find the perfect recipe for it. But in the mean time, I want these books:

 

 The logo for my cookie company will resemble this:

brighter days.

I had a very good day yesterday. It started out perfect; Dan and I got to sleep in. Then I made us chocolate-chip waffles that were delicious. Unfortunately I had to go to work, but it wasn't bad at all. We were just the right amount of busy, and I got to work with Becca, so that was fun. And I got this big group at the end of the day and I got to auto-grat them. Plus everybody except for one person got dessert. When I went to pick up the check after they had left, I noticed that the guy had tipped $60 over the auto-grat. I was so excited, it made the whole day worth it. At the end, I made $114. On a day shift! AMAZING! I was in such a good mood when I went home. And Dan was waiting for me at home, ready to go fishing. We decided not to go to Woodland because it was too late, so we just went up into Provo Canyon and did some fishing. He didn't catch anything, but it was fun. We got to climb around in the brush and trees to get to the hole he wanted to fish at. It reminded me of summers in Colorado when Becca, Scott, and I would venture around the red rocks and the trees and streams that were around them. It just made me feel free and happy. After fishing, we went to Cafe Rio and I had the best tortilla soup ever. It was exactly what I wanted. We were going to go to a movie after, but it was sold out, so we went to Blockbuster and bought Dan a PS2 football game. So he played that the rest of the night and I got to finish The Huger Games, which is an excellent read. Of course it ended in a terrible spot so now I have to go find the second book. Possibly the library. Anyway, I had such a great day, and I realized all the amazing blessings Heavenly Father has blessed me with. Amazing.

I think I know what I'm going to do. We will be getting enough grant money next semester to pay for full tuition for me and for Dan, plus some extra. So the extra will pay for some of rent and if I work at nights at Tucanos, we will still be making a decent amount of money. Then, for the rest of the year (until graduation 2012), I will work as much as I can, Dan and I will continue to apply for grants so we can pay for big things, and we will have moved to a better, more affordable place to live. So I don't have to sacrifice my education in order for us to have money, and I will be doing something that will benefit me in the future for our family. I really can't just stop going to school anyway. I don't want to have regrets down the road and wish I had just finished my degree. We will be fine. We aren't going to have nice things or be able to vacation much, but I know I need to finish school. Something inside of me won't let me give up. And I know the Lord will provide for us and find ways to help us out so that we can afford the basics. Everything will work out. We just have to have faith and trust in the Lord.

Dan has commissioned me to make chocolate-chip cookies today :) I'm going to bring some of the extras to my visiting teaching companion and the two girls I visit teach. I need to do better at my calling of VT district supervisor, and I feel like boosting up my girls will be a step.

I'm going to go lay down now.

nice people.

I've been meaning to write about this since Monday, but haven't really had a chance to sit down and do it. On Monday I worked a double, and two adorable things happened to me that made the whole day worth it. First, I had this table with a super old lady who was way cute and fragile-looking. She had the whole slow-shaky-voice thing and the cute old lady hair. So anyway, they were leaving after paying and I was walking towards them and the little lady stops her walker and looks at me and puts her arm out. Then she proceeded to pull me gently into a hug and say "I need a hug!" She was so cute and it was just adorable and I was like awwww I love you! She was so sweet and I loved her. Then, later that night, Kirsten had a table with a girl who had down syndrome. We went over to sing the birthday song and she was shy and didn't want to shake the tambourine. So we sang to their table and left. About twenty minutes later we went to go sing at a different table and she came up to us and stood there like she wanted to help. So I gave her the tambourine and she got all excited. As soon as we started singing, she starting shouting and singing along in her cute little non-coherent way. When we finished she was smiling so big and she handed me the tambourine and skipped off to her mom, who gave her a giant hug. It was so precious. I was again like awwww I love you! My heart melted at both of these adorable people and it completely and totally made my day.

Also, Tucanos is closing next week to remodel, so I will have a whole week to do whatever I want. I am hoping to go out and have some job interviews and devote my time to finding a better job, but I'm not sure if I'll find anything. I would LOVE to have a more stable and consistent receptionist job somewhere, but I don't know how to really find one, which makes it difficult. But I am trying and praying and that's all I can do.

Oh and by the way, I love my husband more than anything in this world. He is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle and thoughtful man ever. Everything he does makes me smile. I wish I could be the wife he wants me to be, and I am trying. I wish I could do more for him. Sitting here in our apartment waiting for him to come home I suddenly really wanted him here. He's just out playing basketball, but I really wish he was here so I could just hold him and tell him how much he matters to me. I would be so unhappy if I had never met him.

I still don't know what I'm going to do next semester.

the job market.

I think I do not like my job. I say I think because some days I hate it, and some days it is nice and I come home in a very good mood. We have a few new managers because our old manager went down to Albuquerque to work at that restaurant. And so, we are left with new managers and the part-owner. I have come very close to quitting a few times in the past week. If it weren't for us desperately needing money and the friends that I have there, I would have been long gone. We have a bunch of new servers, and for some reason, the managers think everybody needs to have smaller sections. Smaller sections=less money. So not only are we making less money, but then the managers go and do stupid things that piss off the servers. For example, today the part-owner decided that he was only going to seat one server until his section was full, and only then was he going to seat the rest of us. The problem with this is that the server who got sat until his section was full was not the opener, he was not the lead, and he had the biggest section in the restaurant. So, being lead, I am supposed to get the best tables. I didn't get very many big parties, and I have not been for quite a while. It's so frustrating because I am one of the servers who has been there for over three months, and I am not making the money that I should be making as a server. Most people think that being a server you would make good money. Apparently not at Tucanos and not in Provo. And the managers are just douches. For example, I asked one of the new managers to take a crate of rolled silverware back to the busser station. He looked right at me, said no, and walked away, headed to the busser station. Seriously? WHO DOES THAT. It's getting to be ridiculous. I want, and just plain need, a more stable, well-paying job. I'm not going to support our little family making $2.13 an hour, and only getting forty-dollars during a five or six hour shift. It's so inconsistent and it is just driving me crazy. I mean I don't want to quit, because I like the people who work there (with a few manager exceptions). But as soon as I find a new, more stable job, I'm out.